Are You Going To Kiss Me Now?

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Published by: Source Books Fire
Release Date: May 1, 2011
Pages: 368
ISBN13: 978-1402254611

 
Synopsis

YA, Ages 12 & up

Fran won an essay contest, and it landed her in hell: assigned as a reporter to a celebrity charity mission. But when their plane crashes, Fran is stranded on an island with the crazy celebrities, including a teen heartthrob, diva party-girl, and aging actor hoping for a comeback. The celebrities battle their demons while Fran narrates the disaster.

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Praise

“Marvelous dry humor, enhanced by Tanen’s ability to turn an original phrase. The thrust of this book is comedy, and it scores.”
-Kirkus

“Reality TV obsessed teens will thoroughly enjoy this."
- Booklist

“This is a phenomenal read that will make you think twice about picking up a tabloid and admiring (or worshipping) those who inhabit its glossy pages. If you read only one book this year, make sure it's this one."
-Chicklit Club

Excerpt

EPILOGUE

It Does Have its Perks

There’s nothing like being presumed dead to make your family realize you’re the greatest thing to come along since YouTube. Emily can’t get enough of me since meeting Cisco Parker, and my mother was so grateful I was alive she seems to have had a complete personality make-over. “Worrying is like praying for something bad to happen,” is her latest saying. Now, there’s an aphorism I can get behind. Maybe I should thank her new boyfriend, Larry, but I think it has more to do with my surviving five days in Africa with Milan Amberson.

As for my dad, well, it turns out, other than Jordan, he remains the only person I can really talk to. As I see it, if he can forgive my fictional lapse into patricide, I can forgive his falling in love with somebody named Chandra. She’s not my favorite person but she makes a kick-ass cannoli and it’s near impossible to hate the mother of a fat baby boy named Archie…with bright red hair!
Ned was right about one thing. I am a kind of celebrity now. I mean, I’m no Beyonce, but once my phone diaries were released to the general public, I couldn’t even buy a bag of Skittles without being recognized. Going back to high school was out of the question. Thank God.

My mom and dad actually agreed on something for a change and allowed me to take the GED and accept the job offer at Seventeen Magazine in New York. Courtney Gallagher thought I’d be an asset to the magazine and, without tooting my own horn, she was right. I’ll be starting night classes at Columbia next fall, but in the meantime I’m writing a monthly column and I’m in charge of all the celebrity bookings. Let’s just say I came to the job with a lot of connections and at the tender age of eighteen, I’m the youngest member on staff. I’ve even got an assistant. Toot, toot!

The thing is, correct as Ned may have been about my notoriety, he was wrong about them blowing me off after our rescue. None of them did. Not even Chaz, who is now the manager for the biggest gay, pop sensation since Elton John. Jonah’s album, Coming Back From Coming Out sold over 20 million copies worldwide, placing it just between Brittney Spears’ Oops I Did It Again and The Best Of Bob Marley. Not bad for a guy who was worried about his career. And Joe, who wisely managed to kill Hoggalicious Two from being released, was on hand when Jonah accepted his Grammy for best single Love The Sinner, Hate The Sin, a duet he recorded with Milan Amberson! I guess she knew what she was talking about after all. Sometimes it was ‘all in the mix.’

Eve went home to live with her parents in La Jolla for a year. She’s decided not to act anymore…at least for now. She wrote a script about a young intern who discovers his sense of self after a scandalous affair with an older female senator. The buzz has been great and there’s talk that Cisco may play the lead.

As for Ned, well, things didn’t turn out well for him. His island, with the help of the Hollywood Historical Society, (and backed by some people you know), will be the location for a new reality TV show about a boot camp for aspiring teen actors. For the price of a small luxury vehicle, spoiled hopefuls from all over the world are flown to Camp Hollywood Savage to re-enact our experience for three days (no phones, prepared food or bottled water), before beginning a rigorous four week training with a crop of seasoned agents, acting coaches and other industryinsiders. A percentage of all proceeds go to The C. Parker Foundation, a program that builds schools for young women to raise literacy in Africa.